So, it’s the start of a new year. That time of year when we surrender with unbridled enthusiasm, to the familiar exercise of setting lofty new year’s goals like eating less and earning more, reassessing relationships and onboarding better self-care practices. The problem is that this well-meaning activity can cause some individuals to get stuck in a twilight zone of either despondency, or optimism.
Feelings of despondency that surface whilst reflecting on the failure to achieve goals of the past year, compete with feelings of cautious optimism being offered up by the opportunity for a “do-over” in the coming year. In some cases, the feelings of despondency may outweigh those of optimism.
The first action that can help with the odds, is the acceptance that the start of the new year is not, in fact, a uniquely magical time. We can reset our lives on any given day.
Despite having a glaring history of failed attempts, many individuals insist on continuing the tradition of convincing themselves, with eyes glazed over, that “this year” will be the year that they stick to their grand plans. Notwithstanding the tendency towards futility, wouldn’t it be great though, if we could find a way to push up the odds of success “this year?”
The first action that can help with the odds, is the acceptance that the start of the new year is not, in fact, a uniquely magical time. We can reset our lives on any given day. Secondly, we know that the Achilles heel of new year’s resolutions is consistency in practice, so a more useful strategy would be to break our goals into bite-sized pieces and work with the four quarters of the year, so that each quarter becomes a cycle with its own manageable targets. There is a school of thought that promotes the observance of each quarter as a full year, creating a sense of urgency to sustain momentum throughout the short cycle. As well, the cycle should have a manageable number of targets, so that the effort level can be maintained at a pace that supports successful achievement.
Two of the most powerful promises that we can make are setting and honouring our mental health boundaries and self-regulating our emotions, while one of the most powerful rituals we can adopt, is conscious pausing.
Thirdly, how about if we consider greenlighting the practice of allowing prevention to be the best cure? This is where we do all that we can, intentionally, to exert the maximum control that’s possible, to influence the positive and inhibit the adverse outcomes.
When we make prevention the cure, we no longer say, “C’est la vie,” about the situation. We start right, we make judicious decisions and adopt smart practices that pre-empt the occurrence of undesirable outcomes and reduce the need for damage control. For me, the biggest payoff in adopting this practice, is the feeling of having such a level of control over life’s circumstances, that one does not feel overwhelmed by life (and, to some extent, by work).
By adopting preventative practices, we make promises to ourselves that are intended to sustain our welfare and we adopt rituals that support those promises. Two of the most powerful promises that we can make are setting and honouring our mental health boundaries and self-regulating our emotions, while one of the most powerful rituals we can adopt, is conscious pausing.
Self-regulating our emotions allows us to determine how we interact with the triggers that life sends our way.
When we set and begin to honour our mental health boundaries, not everyone will understand our journey of self-love and toxicity management. We will need to be prepared to lose friends, colleagues, acquaintances (and possibly, some relatives). This journey of defining and abiding by the guardrails that define our new terms of self-care, terms of engagement with others and work-life boundaries, will teach us how to save ourselves, preserve our energy and step away from environments that contaminate our spirit.
It is said that the most powerful individual in a room, is the one who is in control of his or her emotions. Self-regulating our emotions allows us to determine how we interact with the triggers that life sends our way. When we resolve to remain calm and composed under the most challenging of circumstances, we stop questioning life and start curating our response to it. A deep resonance with becoming mindful of how we show up for life, begins to take shape. One big prize is that we stop responding to every provocation that comes from people who do not matter.
The power of the pause lies in its ability to allow us to reset ourselves emotionally, psychologically and mentally, in an intentional way, throughout the day.
Finally, one of the most powerful preventative practices is conscious pausing. The power of the pause lies in its ability to allow us to reset ourselves emotionally, psychologically and mentally, in an intentional way, throughout the day. Some practitioners of conscious pausing, do so seven times a day. Just think about the health benefits of existing in a steady state of emotional balance. No major outbursts, no more getting unhinged at the slightest trigger and no more wide swings in temperament that can leave an individual exhausted.
If all of this sounds like a lot to initiate, just remember that it’s only the first step that’s the hardest.